Category Archives: Random

Not As Smart As We Think We Are

Received the following from a lady in my office. I think it’s pretty hillarious!!

Why females should avoid girls night out after they are married. :up: :up: :up:

The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls”.

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise.”

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.

Around 3:00 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

(Even when totally smashed…3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = midnight.)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in and I told him “midnight”. He didn’t seem upset at all.

Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”

When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, “Oh shit”, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

Just A Pug

I would like to dedicate the following poem to my little Coco :-D .

I’m not fat I’m perfectly plush
I’m not slow I just don’t like to rush
I don’t growl I snort with delight
I’m not a pig I’m a Pug alright

I’m cute as a button with crinkles and rolls
And if you’re not looking I’ll come chew your toes
My brown eyes are bulgy my tongue curls out
My face is all wrinkled pushed in by my snout

I laze around most of the day
After a very short time of play
A Pugs life is simple A Pugs life is fun
A Pugs life is spent in the shade not the sun

I’ll say it again I’m not fat I’m not slow
I just dont have anywhere to go
So the next time you see that my skin’s not too tight
Remember who I am I’m a Pug allright.

Written by Paula Rodrigues

The Woman

This is so beautiful and true. Where are the tissues? :sad:

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day
An angel came by and said:
“Why spend so much time on that one?”

And the Lord answered:
“Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?”

“She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart and she must do all this with only two hands.”

The angel was impressed.

“Just two hands…impossible!”

And this is the standard model?!

“Too much work for one day…wait until tomorrow and then complete her.”

“I will not”, said the Lord. “I am so close to complete this creation, which will be the favourite of my heart.”

“She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day.”

The angel came nearer and touched the woman.

“But you have made her so soft, Lord”

“She is soft”, said the Lord, “But I have also made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.”

“Can she think?” the angel asked.

The Lord answered:

“Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.”

The angel touched the womans cheek…

“Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.”

“She is not leaking…it’s a tear”, the lord corrected the angel.

“What’s it for?” asked the angel.

And the Lord said:

“Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”

This made a big impression on the angel; “Lord, you are genius.
You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvellous!”

Indeed she is!
Woman has strengths that amazes man.
She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love and opinions.
She smiles when feeling like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying, crys when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid.
She fights for what she belives in.
Stand up against injustice.
She doesn’t take “no” for an answer, when she can see a better solution.
She gives herself so her family can thrive.
She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid.
Her love is unconditional.
She cries when her kids are victorious.
She is happy when her friends do well.
She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding.
Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies.
But she finds the strength to get on with life.
She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

There is only one thing wrong with her

She forgets what she is worth…

Pass this on to your lady friends to remind them how fantastic they are….pass it on to males you know. Sometimes they need to be reminded!!!